Parents know that one-on-one time with each child is essential. In young children, it contributes to healthy brain development. One-on-one time helps with emotional regulation, minimizes sibling rivalry, and results in a happy confident child.
Trouble is, the busyness of our modern world inhibits one-on-one time without digital distractions. If we are not intentional about our time with each child, we risk letting it fall by the wayside.
When my daughters (now teenagers) were little, it was too easy to let them play happily together rather than carve out time to spend with each of them individually. Family time and self-care (also very important) often won out. But then I was often left scratching my head at why my kids could so easily go from giggling together to screaming at one another.
So I took the bull by the horns and put it on the calendar.
Each child got one night a week to read with mom before bedtime. My husband and I scheduled regular dates with each of them. We also tried designating one night a week for each child to stay up later than the rest to do a short activity of their choice with Mom and/or Dad. In our case, an ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure.
As the kids have gotten older, and their schedules more complex, we’ve had to be more flexible about how and when we spend quality time with each of them. We capitalize on car rides, engage in before bed talk therapy (on their terms, of course), and pull them out of school for a one-on-one lunch on a regular basis. Hint: Food always wins.
Now that I teach Let’s Play Music, I am impressed by how the curriculum fosters connection between parent and child. For the first year, a parent attends with child every other week. Activities in class are carefully crafted to support face-to-face time. Parents play a huge role in helping their child complete the weekly “practice” assignments. I’ve enjoyed having my son Jack in class – my husband attends with him on parent days. Having that time with Dad (and Mom as the teacher) builds him up in measurable ways. He knows he’s enough of a priority for Dad to spend a precious 45 uninterrupted minutes doing “kid stuff” with him.
For those 45 minutes – he is the most important person in the world.
Mommy and me time comes when I help Jack with his “homework”. Which is actually a misnomer because it involves singing songs, playing the tone bells, and coloring. It’s a small sacrifice that yields big dividends. That one-on-one time demonstrates to Jack not only that music is valued, but that he is valued.
I can’t think of much that fosters connection more for a young child than making music and being silly together. And, I can’t think of much that fosters learning more than connection with a parent. What an inspired program!
Come try it out! Put it on the calendar. You just might love it.